Saturday, December 15, 2018

Balloooon - Bursts


Story of an aspiring singer simply falls short of any aspirations, logic, plot, dialogues and direction.


Jignesh Vasavada


0.5 Stars

 
There was a constant warning in the movie that kept staring at us. Yet, Yet we persisted and attempted to enjoy the Balloooon. Why? The sign screamed, constantly, Why? And the only answer I had was, it is a job, someone has to review it.

So, here goes.
  1. This was the first time, thanks to a technical glitch I read the entire certificate end to end. They actually tell you the duration of the movie. This was 119 mins, felt like 11199 mins.
  2. Why do all Gujarati movies have to start with a drone shot of Ahmedabad’s Nehru bridge?
  3. Why do all fathers in Urban Gujarat Movies have to be Prashant Barot Sir?
  4. Seriously, our mind set needs to change for a Government job. It appears to be a ticket to a retired, relaxed life.
  5. This must be the first sci-fi movie where a cellphone charges without the switch being on!
  6. What is an All-Rounder Teacher? Are they referring to Kapil Dev?
  7. Which Channel on TV has Game of Thrones? I would love to watch it there?
  8. So, if you keep listening to music, you can become a good singer?
  9. Modiji’s Digital seems to have worked well. Now a girl living in a village gets engaged online! Wow!
  10. Never ever watch a movie with the star-cast sitting right behind, you cannot watch it honestly.

 
Gosh, wish I had read the WHY sign and taken a 1 hr 42 mins bathroom break. Guess, Balloooon is taking abstract to a different level.

All of 119 mins you are just wondering what is happening, why is it happening, what are you doing here, who is she, who is who, what are they doing, why are they doing!!!!

The movie is about an aspiring singer who is goofy, casual and below average as a singer. Basically a loser in life, dreams big of becoming a celebrity (by winning Voice of Kutch!!!, I mean seriously!).

Pampered, ditched, broke & driven out from home, he wakes up in Bhuj (yeah yeah, actually, he just wakes up in Bhuj, waking you up too). Here is realizes that he will have to hit big by becoming a singer and winning a competition. So, he befriends a Speaking (S)Tree girl who just opens her mouth to give gyaan (arrey when she writes a postcard also she is giving Gyaan, I mean is she for real?).

 
So, Our Hero gets rejected, his father is perennially dejected, mother is continuously interjected all the while the viewers keep praying to be ejected!

Thumb wrestling, some tone improving blogs, a praying-to-haromnium-playing monk, Early morning yoga, doses of luck gets him a semi-final place in the competition. What happens next just bowls you over. You just have to bear the logic defying stuff. Wonder why make a filmy effort that has no coherence? Just simply copy some Kannada, English or Marathi film and entertain the audience and make your money naa Rehan Bhai and Rashesh bhai.

Is Navjot Singh Chauhan playing a goof or is normally like this, we wonder in the entire film. If he is playing one, then he has done a good job. Aarti Rajput, is full of two expressions and loads of gyaan. Completely wasted. Instead, a much better role is essayed by her room-mate. Very natural, lively and good.

Bhaviniben Jani does a good cameo. Gives some life to the movie. Prashant Barot is just fatherly as they come and Swati Dave as mom does a decent job.
 
A movie about a singer ought to be Samir-Mana’s delight. And two songs Musafar & Pankhi Maan really stand out. They add the much needed class to the narrative. But beyond that there is nothing memorable. Dialogues are out of place. Parents are scared the kid will commit suicide by hanging from the fan and the mom is worried for the fan, come on! Is the scene serious or funny.

Nope, Balloooon (with all four O) just deflates in the first 15 mins. Post that you are just forcing air into the puncture.

Better luck next time.   

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